alanwilliamson

More reasons why we should no longer be flying

 I have decided to see if I can get around the place without having to put my wee bum into the flying cattle market that is known as commercial flight.  When I read some of the stories that popped up on my radar this morning, this urge to stay on the ground is even more resolute.

Take example one from a recent flight with Air Canada. Long haul flights are a test for anyones bladder, let alone the pilots.  So imagine the horror, as the Captain pops out of his highly secure prison, sorry cockpit, for a quick slash, only to discover he can't get back in!  Fortunately, his co-pilot was still locked in there, and the airline claims he could have landed the plane by himself with no immediate harm for the passengers.

What I find most amusing about this story, is not that they had to take the cockpit door off its hinges to get in (note to would be terroris - it would appear one can still get access to the cockpit if you really want so much for the extra security), no, but the fact that the airline was quoted as saying ""We investigated the incident... and the crew followed standard operational procedures". You mean this happens a lot?  And so much so, they've written up a formal procedure for the eventuality!

Another reason why you don't want to be flying is that Ryanair are now seeking approval to allow mobile phones to be used inflight, with Ryanair taking a cut of the air time. NOOOOO tell me it isn't so.  Now planes are not the quietest of things at the best of times, so inorder to have a conversation over a mobile phone @ 30,000ft will require a lot of shouting into the handset, much to the enjoyment of fellow passengers.  If you want a sense what this would be like, just take a minute to observe the plane come alive with ringtones and shouting when the plane lands and the captain authorises the use of "celluar phones and pagers may now be used".  And this is when the engines are off! Can you imagine that throughout the whole flight?

Not only are the airlines squeezing us into even tighter spaces, but now they want to really get our tempers flaired as people make inflight calls.  Air rage eh? .. we haven't seen anything yet!

Of course this all assumes you actually make it onto the flight. With the list of approved carry-on items shrinking fast it is getting harder to get on board.  No liquids, nothing that has a point on it that may be used as a weapon (don't worry they give you cutlery in business/first class anyway) and now it would appear t-shirts that may be considered offensive.  It will soon be that we will be stripped naked, issued with a bright orange jump suit with our boarding barcode number that will beep everytime as we move around in and around terminal.  Me fears the hey day and romance of air travel has been lost.  Some may argue it has been lost a long time ago.

So as I prepare my travel to this years EuroOSCON, I have decided instead to go under the channel instead of over it and will be taking the EuroStar train straight into Brussels.


 

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